Thursday, June 13, 2013

Part 3 Update on the Homeless Bohemian Lifestyle

Whelp, I've actually made it past one month of being voluntarily homeless, and it's been pretty easy with minimal hardship. I've only come into two awkward police confrontations with no consequence, and seldom any attention from other people. Though, about a week ago I did have a guy oddly ask me if I was alright and whether I had been shot by a gun . . . which made no sense why he asked that. (I think he was sneaking that in the conversation to intimidate me out of irrational suspicion.)

Now this lifestyle has become a full blown set of habits, and it no longer feels awkward brushing my teeth at the bookstore, eating a large sausage link in the car, or sleeping in the back seat at night. Quite a significant contrast to my first few nights, in which my anxiety was so high I jolted awake in the night several times in fear of onlookers, only to never have my fears confirmed.

Mentally I've grown, big time. The lack of omnipresent internet has changed my habits significantly, and without it constantly available to distract me, whether in seeking attention on Facebook or distracting myself with bird videos, I am much more focus and still, and feel a lot more intelligent and competent. My emotions are stable and calmer, and much more of my daily attention is focus on that which will authentically add something to my life, rather than tending to my anxieties or distractions. My mind is shifting more and more on autodidactism, wise money-management, habit development, and career progress.

I feel strangely more physically healthy too. I always wake up at 6 or 7 AM whether that amounts to a full night's sleep or merely 3 hours, and I absurdly never feel sleep deprived. All the time spent in the gym in cleaning up and cultivating my heat tolerance in the sauna has logically encouraged me back into working out, and I've restarted my Body by Science routines and feel all the better for it.

My estimate of this going on for 4-5 months longer remains about the same. I'm very unsure whether I want to stop when I catch up on my bills, pay most of my debt off, or what, but I do know that I can tolerate this lifestyle for a much longer time than I originally anticipated. In the daytime it's utter easy to stay within air-conditioned buildings such a the library or bookstore, and all my sauna training has enabled me to sleep comfortably without sweating. So far I've gotten by with some really convenient secret parking spots, uncaught as of yet.

Though, of course, it still isn't without its nuisances. There's always that one spot of worry whether anyone will catch me at my spot, or if I'll be seen and chastised on the spot, at night. While my body can tolerate the heat without sweating, it's still not the best of all sleeping circumstances, and my car smells like pork rinds consequently. My nourishment and hydration is easy, but the monotonous diet and inability to cook: Hmph. Oh so on, but all in all petty nuisances that amount to only mild annoyance and worry. Regardless, an apartment will be nice in the day that it comes.

I confess, however, that my greatest pain is not being able to maintain social contact with faraway friends as I otherwise could have with the internet. It gives me this painful feeling that the decline in activity is making me more invisible, and that friendships could be fading away by the day, in memory and affection. It's uncomfortable to think that I'll have to wiggle back into social networks of once close friends. I enjoy my alone time, but this solitude feels different. One feels connected to people when things such as phones and whatnot are available, but absent the means it feels different.

And yes, of course, there is still the slight shame that this blog still remains comatose. There's just hardly the means for it right now, with limited library access. My writing and my audience hasn't escaped my mind, however, and certain writing projects still continue to simmer within me.

For the months to come: More of the same. Clean-ups and working towards physical perfection at the gym, becoming a more robust worker at my job, saving and spending wisely -- especially with those overdue creditors, who seem nicer now that they know what I'm doing for them; and, most of all, correcting my flaws and setting up habits for greatness.

It is frequently on my mind how I am the author of my own problems, and the added solitude has emphasized my attention on the direly needed antidotes, and the things to be on guard against once I do get into an apartment with overly-ready internet access. This is now the time to become a better man, stay that way, and move towards self-mastery and becoming a prime-mover.

Perhaps at the end of it all I'll detail my experiences and practices . . . but for now, toodle loo. It is soon time to retreat to the library basement for more intellectual expansion. 

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