Monday, June 3, 2013

Homeless Update 2: Still Going, Progressing, and Enduring

Woo wee, it's hard to believe, but I've been homeless for nearly a month now. It's astonishingly bearable, and it's worst discomforts are annoying at max. I feel preposterous now for fretting so heavily over this possibility all those months before when it's a smoother process than I ever imagined. Really, I wished I had done this much sooner, as perhaps by this time frame I could have healed lesser financial problems and be back in an apartment by now, and in addition take advantage of sleeping in comfortable Texan winter.

At my present financial progress I estimate I'll continue this lifestyle for about 3-5 more months. I could very well afford an apartment by my next payday, but again I'm doing this to pay off my flaming debts that have run amuck this year, my most difficult financial year ever, so how long this continues is just a matter of where I'd like to stop. Short of my student loans, or with debt totally paid off?

The blogging break shall continue for some weeks more, at least. My interest hasn't waned in this site at all; it's just that I have much more restricted internet access, and without the library I'm left with my Kindle Fire, which I'm certainly not going to agonize in creating a blog post on. Perhaps in my payday after next I'll get a laptop. Until then blogging isn't my greatest of concerns, and it's not the best place to type with all these prying eyes and a computer timer to urge you to race to the finish.

My psychology changes in adopting this lifestyle is something I'll have to chew heavily, as I ought to change my habits more drastically upon getting back into an apartment. I thought losing so much access to the internet would be more painful, and yet my life hardly feels amiss. I feel fine not staying so on top of minutiae news, or having Facebook to entrap my attention. In fact, my intellectual capacities feel enhanced, for outside of work all there's left to do is write, read, work out, and eat. I feel more dedicated to perfecting my body and intelligence, and both seem to be making better progress consequently.

This reminds me that the things we spend most of our daily lives are what we get good at and incline our desires towards. In being depressed in my apartment over my finances and wiling away the hours on Facebook, I became "good" at social networking, and as a result I was regularly thinking in that realm, of gather content and posting it, and was frequently tempted to spend hours on it. Subtract the possibility of the that temptation and now I get my mind so much more into books, what good writing I can create, and how to elevate my life. My daily habits will need a strict overhaul with hefty discipline inserted to maintain these unintended homeless benefits, for I want to get good at strength-training, thinking, reading, learning . . . not social networking.

The biggest nuisance so far in this lifestyle is parking at night. It's silly that it's almost literally illegal for me to park anywhere at night short of a consenting homeowner's driveway or curb, so minus that possibility for me I'm pretty much forced to sneak and hide. Sure, there's places like Wal-marts that allow for some overnight parking for things like RVs, but nothing indefinite. Concealed areas are a beaut, for in those I can hang my flashlight from the ceiling and read for some hours before bed. Parking lots are a nuisance, for I have to stay down and hide, which means I'm essentially forced to go to bed after businesses like bookstores close, unless I choose to ponder while looking up at the partial sky through the window.

This homeless period, I keep telling myself, is a period I need to take very seriously for changing myself. Bad luck involvement aside (such as car troubles), I've still caused the majority of my current difficulty through actions such as what caused me to lose my hotel job last year, which signaled and kindled all this troubles to begin with. Upon getting a new apartment I ought to be a new man to enter it, one stripped of bad habits, a sense of emotional mastery, a focus on his cognition and productivity, and distractions such as Facebook glared at as if there were candles capable of burning the whole house down. Life can be grand as I can envision in, but only if I'm willing to fully dedicate myself on acting upon my knowledge, as I know my mistakes comprehensively; all that's last is to practice the remedy.

I'd like to abstain from stating any of my further goals, as I'm not fully committed to them yet, and feel slightly embarrassed to admit my interest where passion does not yet exist, but I've got my ideas. It still revolves around self-employment to a great extent, for no matter how much I value my workplaces and coworkers, I still feel that I can't unleash my full value unless I work directly with the consumer, unimpeded by as few middlemen as possible, especially higher-ups to report to. 

Until then, I'll keep popping in and out some random weeks to give you an update, until I get a laptop and can consider committing seriously again. Keep on being your best.

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