Saturday, February 4, 2012

One Down

It's not the order I intended to tackle them, but already I've got one new year's resolution down: I got an apartment! I move in on March 1st.

It's an absurdly good prospect too. While the rent is considerably higher, I'll be able to walk to work and a bunch of other stores in the mall, significantly driving down my vehicle costs. The area is clean and safe, and as a bonus I'll get a lot of discounts in the mall since I'm a resident in this particular complex. Awesome.

I feel silly for never thinking to contact that complex, as I had been looking at it for nearly a year and simply never thought to check it out. One day while walking to Macy's I noticed it from the sidewalk and it finally clicked, and when I e-mailed them I had the pleasure to find out that they had an efficiency/studio available.

I wanted to get a second job first, but since this is so good and still affordable I'll leap on it right away. My previous apartment searching has always left me dismayed since the ones with affordable rent and overall living expenses -- meaning it wouldn't increase my driving expenses too much -- were oft complained of being unsanitary, unsafe, and noisy, and the seemingly desirable places simply had too much of an overall cost increase to be budgetable, so for a long time I've been practically stuck at renting a room from this lady. It has been frustrating since I've wanted to live by myself in my own apartment for years now, and have actually been working at it for about two. My move to Texas was actually a compromise, as I intended to get an apartment right off but had to settle for a room.

I won't be living with anybody. I'll be all alone, in a good way. Ugh, I'm done living with people. While I have a good overall view of humanity my worst experiences in life have always come from living with bad people I couldn't remove myself from. The people I've had to live with have either been a vast inducer of stress, a massive imposition and interruption to my efforts, or both. Regardless of my efforts to work matters out, the problems would always persist, so given that I've been dealing with this for the past twenty-some years I'm eager to unload this problem. The best period in my life so far occurred as a teenager when I lived in a house all alone for over a year, during which I felt no stronger a resolve to live as fully as I could.

My current setup of renting a room from this old lady has been nothing but cumbersome. I think the lady doesn't just bring in housemates in order to supplement her income, but also to, more importantly, use them as a buffer for her irrational lifestyle, so she either doesn't have to suffer as much for her bad behavior or avoid the consequences altogether. She's in quite a lot of financial trouble, and amazingly she refuses to get a second job and relegates herself to her piddly weekend job, making her tenants her primary source of income. She also has type-1 diabetes and has almost died from it nearly a dozen times since my living here due to her own irresponsibility, which has been a major source of anxiety for me in the past.  Many times have I thought she was lying in a room dead.

Additionally, the tenants she has brought in in addition to me have been very intimidating. One guy, while friendly, often talked about his violent dealings with other people, making me slightly on edge towards him for fear of danger. The current guy now, my age, has been rather gross and inconsiderate, and once threatened me with a hunting knife due to some random suspicion that I went into his room.

I grant that it could be very possible for me to find someone to live with that I would enjoy having as indefinite company, but for now I'm about 0 for 6 for the people I've lived with and don't want to take the risk anymore; alone it is. For now. I certainly will enjoy it.

It surprises me how some people are reacting to my rent rate, considering I'm paying $725 for a mere efficiency/studio. They'd rather pay under $500. My only response is that whether something is expensive or affordable to someone is dependent on their values. A person's value of a particular instrument may lead them to plop several hundred dollars towards one, whereas someone such as I, who doesn't play instruments, wouldn't take it even if you gave it to me for free. In this context, I painfully value the ability to conduct my affairs and living space without the interference or input of others, especially those others with psychological problems that manifest in our dealings. That period in my life in which I had a house to myself was great not just because I was alone, but mainly because I was unhindered to go from goal to goal and conduct my chores as I wanted to. Bliss.

My standard of living may go down a bit, but my sense of living will increase.

I fretted about telling my landlord for fear we might have an episode, but surprisingly everything went over well. When the last roommate she got attached to was moving she got drunk and started yelling in the middle of the night, waking the household up and forcing us to call the ambulance for her (since we thought it was her diabetes), and she kept us up until past 3 AM with both her noise and our anxiety. I thought about just letting her find an empty room and note one day, but I want my deposit back and so finished our contract.

March is the move month! From here, my next priority -- which was already my priority to begin with -- is to snatch that second job in fine dining.

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