Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Mr. Knife, and Orbiting around Negatives

Yes, I know I've been failing to provide an article every morning, but let's worry about that later.

Now, what about this Mr. Knife? Well, sometimes when I want to talk about a person to other people without using their name it is my habit to nickname them by something memorable or distinguishable, and in this case the most memorable thing about this person is that he once implicitly threatened me with a knife, hence he becomes Mr. Knife to the public mind. What's bad is that I happen to live with him, and am in a potentially dangerous situation.

My plans for moving into my new apartment was to wait until March 1st to finish off the month and get my income tax in, but I've had a rather disturbing incident with my housemate Mr. Knife. His girlfriend came to the house at 3 AM and woke both of us up, and when I went to inquire about it he was rather hotly temperamental with me. His hostility was unsettling given that we have no established comfort in our relationship (given we seldom interact), and yet here he is scolding me as if I had imposed on him, when in truth it's him imposing on me since his guest woke me up. He even rudely commanded me to go back to sleep, which was simply audacious. I meekly obliged, and he has yet to offer an apology.

The root of my fear is that he has violent practices and seems to be changing significantly in character. For whatever reason, he's involved in a real life fighting club sanctioned by the police, where he regularly goes to bare-knuckle fight people. Literally, beating up people is his hobby. Out of a bizarre paranoia that I went into his room, he once inquired to me how I knew about something that was in there (I went in when nobody lived there), and asked while he was spinning and unsheathing a large hunting knife, making for an implicit knife threat. Additionally, he seems like a totally different person, as when he first came in he was very eager, benevolent, and friendly, and now whenever I do see him he acts like he's under pressure, tense, and ready to lunge at something. Sharing other evidence with friends, such as his dark urine (he disgustingly rarely flushes the toilet), it seems probable that he could be a drug abuser, explaining such a rapid change in his mentality.  With all this together, I'm frightened that some kind of pressure might be building up in him, which could lead to a violent outburst soon.

My landlord, absurdly for even her, isn't taking this seriously and acts if I'm being silly. The evidence points to objective danger and yet she thinks everything is hunky-dory. By god she isn't even taking the knife threat seriously. She's a horrendous judge of people and gets herself into bad associations regularly, so it's of little surprise that this thug got into the household. In checking references and doing interviews I think she asks shallow questions, accepts shallow and yes-or-no answers, and takes no real time to think about what she's observed. So far I've had to deal with an annoying foreigner, a guy who stole $20 and some eggs from me before abandoning the place, and now this. Jesus, she's going to get herself killed or beaten up someday if she continues this trend, if her diabetes doesn't already do her in.

Because of the frightening threat I've decided to move mid-month and get the hell out. It's quite disruptive to my plans since I wanted to focus more on getting a second job, I hope, before March, but it seems I need to switch my priorities. Pity. Unfortunately, combined with the fact my landlord is refusing to give me a refund on the remainder of the month, I cannot move out as promptly as I wish, and have to wait until either my next payday or when my income tax refund comes in, the latter I suspect being most likely.

Oh well, I can tolerate it. Mr. Knife is gone over 90% of the time, as I guess his job makes him house himself elsewhere during the business week. Even when we do reside in the house it's rare occasion that we run into each other, as I come home from work at night when he's already asleep and wake up after he's gone. He's not making any increasingly threatening gestures, so perhaps it's only me being paranoid. I hope so.

On an insightful note, this is making me realize how almost unmitigatable negatives can change the way you live your life. Over these past months I've seen how I've allowed some of my good habits to deteriorate, such as cooking breakfast and maintaining a good diet, because I'm so much more focused on avoiding the negative rather than pursuing the positive. I detest negatives and do whatever I can to solve and get them out of my life, but when you can't do anything about them, at least temporarily, it has a unique effect. It causes you to kind of orbit around it, avoiding and mitigating it in whatever way you can, because that's all you can do for a time, and it leads to a bad temptation to give up good habits and practices just so you can better deal with the stress of the negative for the period you have to deal with it. My mealtimes and dietary habits have really changed since my landlord irritates me in the kitchen so much, causing me to often hold off or change my meals just so we don't run into each other, and now with Mr. Knife I feel like hiding in my room more than ever. Since my landlord can't be reasoned with -- she either evades, makes excuses, and so on -- and I consider Mr. Knife too dangerous to initiate a dialogue with the only true option for solving these is to sever ties with them, which I cannot until either a few days or a couple weeks pass. I see now how having an apartment can be a vast good for my mental health, as I'll have no temptation to delay or change meals, avoid productive endeavors so I can hide from stressful people in my house, and so on. There may be other negatives such as the pressure one's taxes can have on income, but I see no greater stress factor than living with bad people who impose stress on you and cannot be reasoned with, and yet you have severely limited means to solve the problem. When you can't get a negative like this out, what else you can do but try and step around it?

Ah, living alone. That's a wonderful thing I'll never get tired of. I don't know what the next few days will bring, as my tax refund could arrive at anytime or something else financially positive may happen, so my regular life will be a little irregular for a short while since I'm focusing more on packing up and leaving as soon as possible. Bear with me.    

No comments:

Post a Comment

Ah! So you want to comment? Good!

My only rule: Use common sense manners.